Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jungle Work World, I was sitting with Beardface the other night and he brought up a fantastic point: It would be a great feat of Jungle Work if someone were to go into their local Weight Watchers like a 30 year old broad with low self esteem who Drinks while vacuuming and watching Days of Our Lives reruns at 1 PM, And start jumping on the scales. there are two benefits to this:
1: You get to see the scale say you way 1,000 pounds for exactly half a second
2: It's Jungle Work
Another Great idea to piss off Weight Watchers would be to tie sandbags to your legs and come in crying saying you need to change your life.
"You look skinny" the lady at the desk would say... We'll now refer to as B'tina from now on...
"I know but wait till I get on the scale" you say
"Jesus Christ on the Cross your 354 Pounds" exclaims B'Tina, amazed at what she sees.
"I know I need to change my life..."
So B'Tina sets you up on one of their plans... a change is coming in your life!
Next day you go in to Weight Watchers with one sand bag.
"I think I lost a pound!" you exclaim!
"Lets get your bitch ass on the scale!" says B'Tina
"WOW you lost 150 pounds!!!" How the hell did you do that in one day?" Exclaims B'Tina
"It's a miracle!" you exclaim and fall to your knees in praise of the baby Jesus. Then repeat the cycle at Curves, your local gym... etc
It is a moment of jungle Work that unites us...
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